Dirty Pair TV Series
Episode Guide

[ 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 ]
[ 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 ]

#1: "We'll Teach You How to Kill a Computer"

Welcome to Damocles Tower, a sprawling, sparkling building that is home sweet home to over five thousand happy resident...not the least of who are two certain female World Welfare Work Association (3WA) Trouble Consultants. When "Brian," the tower's master computer, goes berserk the Dirty Pair are called upon to put things right (although at first they are thought to be pro wrestlers!). The girls soon devise a plan to warp a shuttlecraft into the computer's brain housing from a space terminal orbiting above using their space cruiser, the Lovely Angel, as a decoy. This, thankfully, works but not without the expected unexpected results.

#2: "Do Lovely Angels Like Chest Hairs?"

After a brief series of incidents the owner of a fleet of star liners enlists the aid of the 3WA when his newest ship, the Tenian, is threatened with destruction on its maiden flight. Suspecting a rival company the Dirty Pair are sent in as "bodyguards" for the liner and soon find themselves in an unwanted (although temporary) partnership with another agent, Mr. Nova Greb. Fortunately the culprits are swiftly weeded out and a bombing attempt is thwarted... but not before the Tenian's automatic control system is disrupted. Yuri, using her navigation skills, lands the liner in relative safety with the aid of Greb.

#3: "Don't Fall in Love... Love is Russian Roulette"

Kei and Yuri take a working vacation to a popular resort planet to repossess a stolen gem from the keep of a big-time syndicate crime lord known as King. After landing King. In an attempt to lure his interest, Yuri throws a high-stakes card game in his favor and loses 30,000 of 3WA's credits in a matter of moments. Unfortunately Yuri's plan doesn't work. It does, however, attract a mysterious and handsome man named Sydney, who helps the two past King's security system. After much commotion they get away with the gem and soon discover Sydney's true colors.

#4: "Pursuit Has the Smell of Cheesecake and Death"

Guillaume de Malatesta XIII is a cat, a pedigreed Persian. This feline is the subject of a highly successful top-secret government experiment involving heightened strength and perception, and has an almost unnatural appetite for cheesecake. As out story opens the creature has just escaped from its lab holding cell. A fat reward is offered for its return. Enter Kei and Yuri. Enter the syndicate. Finally, enter Ran and Jerry, known as "The Elegance," two classy pro female wrestlers who presumably moonlight for the government on occasion. A hectic scramble ensues as they all search for the spoiled super-cat.

#5: "Cleardos Dokkun Dokkun"
(Dokkun dokkun is the Japanese sound effect for a heartbeat.)

With the Lovely Angel unavailable, the Pair are flying a rental craft when they receive a sudden communication announcing their "execution." The ship is thrown about by a powerful force and a large unknown object is glimpsed. After this rattling incident, the girls fly on to the planet Popos to wind down. But it proves to be far from relaxing when they are attacked by flying battle mecha. The two manage to escape and fly off into space in the rented ship. They encounter the strange unknown force again and the large object is revealed as a gigantic space fortress. The brain behind all this is the unseen Dr. Cleardos -- an ex-convict taken into custody in a previous criminal case. Apparently freed, the doctor wants to take revenge upon the Dirty Pair. Entering the huge station, Kei and Yuri booby-trap Nanmo with a self-destructing device and aim him for the central computer system of the fortress. The resulting blast destroys much of the station and takes the lives of all inside.

#6: "Lot of Danger, Lot of Dummies"

The Lovely Angel is now back in action and the Pair is recruited to convey a prism crystal to its proper destination. Things become difficult as a group of space pirates known as the Devil Syndicate want to get their hands on the prism as well. Kei and Yuri run into the cutthroats and are shocked to discover that their leader, the roguish Kaiya, is one of Kei's old boyfriends. After a lot of space battle action the gals give the pirates what they want...sort of. The container box that that held the prism is sent to the Devil fleet but the crystal has been removed and stored by the Pair. In its place the gals left a nicely sized explosive. This little surprise package wipes out the fleet. Things get tense again near the end, as a small misunderstanding between the Pair, the owner of the gem, and Gooley results in the impression that the prism was left inside the box with the bomb! Fortunately, things work out for the best.

#7: "Love is Everything, Betting Their Lives on Escape"

An impressive wedding ceremony is underway as Crikey, the teenage son of resort magnate Gold Jeff, is led against his will to the alter by seven future brides (all hand-picked by his father). The mysterious and beautiful Joanka suddenly makes an appearance and kidnaps the lad. Upon receiving a ransom Gold Jeff calls 3WA. All is not as it seems, for Crikey and Joanka are in love and are actually plotting to revenge themselves upon Crikey's scheming, dictorial father by bilking him of a few cool billions. In the meantime (in a decidedly odd story twist), the young lovers win an all expensive-paid vacation to "fabulous" Grebus Island for being the umpteenth customers to enter a fast-food restaurant. They determines to makes Grebus their pickup site. Enter Kei and Yuri, whom have been hired to make the ransom drop. However, Gold Jeff has secretly installed a mind control device in the handle of the money case, which forces Joanka to proclaim that she only used Crikey to get the dough and has never truly cared for him. Fortunately, true love gives Joanka the strength to overcome the device's control and she flings away the case, money and all, and thus forces Gold Jeff's hand. It is revealed that Gold Jeff has known about the young couple all along and objects deeply to their relationship on the grounds that Joanka in his former employee and was once (he claims) a man. There is a brief skirmish, and Gold Jeff make off with the star-crossed lovers. The Pair, seeing Gold Jeff for the man he is, are furious at having been used and decide to come to the couple's aid. Alas, they arrive at Gold Jeff's base too late to save Joanka from being launched in a rocket on a fifty-year course through deep space. At sublight speeds, only a year or so will pass for her, but Crikey will grow old and grey... The girls have no recourse other than to assist Crikey to takeoff after his beloved in a similar vessel. Filled with remorse for his wicked deeds and with the love of his son Gold Jeff breaks loose from the 3WA agents' grasp and launches himself after Crikey and Joanka in yet another projectile, leave poor Kei and Yuri to wonder about the meaning of it all.

#8: "Gotta Do It! Love is a Woman's Detonator"

Yuri receives a message from her childhood sweetheart, Billy Galet. It seems Billy is being held captive in a remote prison complex, Poison Building, and forced to work on a secret project. Kei and Yuri prepare to come to the rescue. The Pair sneak into the prison and launch a devastating guerrilla attack. Kei plants explosive charges and prepares an escape vessel for the prisoners and Yuri sets out to free the prisoners -- all the while searching for Billy. Kei finds out that poor Billy has long been dead and mercifully tells Yuri that Billy got away on the escape vessel saying that he would come back for her sometime on a future date. The Pair stay behind to deal with the remaining forces.

#9: "Hire Us! It's Better to Get Good-Looking Bodyguards"

The planet Plastone is a world combining current technology with the lifestyle of the Old West. Plastone's criminal element is confused as two rival syndicates are fighting for control. The Pair are sent in to destroy both groups. Disgusting themselves as competing gunfighters (Kei wears the traditional cowboy outfit, while Yuri goes for the Clint Eastwood look) the gals split up and join the two syndicates. The Pair succeed in their mission by destroying a large ore deposit that could have ensured the superiority of the group possessing it. As per Dirty Pair custom, a slight underestimation is made: in the resulting chain reaction, planet Plastone is reduced to rubble! Fortunately, most of the population gets away, sparing the Pair from a charge of genocide.

#10: "What! We're the Brutal Kidnappers?"

Assassins have targeted young Prince Heace of planet Caspia for death. Gifted with the incredible IQ of 250, young Heace is destined to be future ruler of Caspia...provided the assassins fail in their plans. Kei and Yuri are assigned to escort and protect him. As events progress the Pair flee into the desert with the prince and there discover that they've lost their earrings, which prevents them from contacting Mughi and Nanmo abord Lovely Angel. Battles break out between the three, the police, an assassin, and some of the prince's subjects. Whew! By the time it's over, all involved except the prince are tossed into the prison. The Pair are accused of his kidnapping! -- but they have by now recovered their earrings and as they beep and flash, the Lovely Angel hovers overhead....

#11: "Ho Ho Ho, Dresses and Men are Better New"

Things go badly for the Pair in this episode. It starts out well as they finally get some vacation time and a chance to date some neglected boyfriends. However, it seems that all the boys have previous obligations! They decide to spend the time together visiting a pleasant shopping mall, but there they are mistaken for two criminals-at-large by the police! They Pair end up running into the criminal later. To make matters worse, a bunch of little kids are amusing themselves by playing around Lovely Angel. Chased by the cops the Pair are forced to take the children inside. Of course, they are charged with kidnapping...not to mention that the kids drive Kei and Yuri crazy. After all is settled the girls blast off to a homely little world where, via a short short note and personal photo, a handsome young named Francis has invited them to a party. But when the Pair arrive, all dressed up, what they find waiting for them is Gooley and a bunch of old fogeys. They girls have been tricked into attending a dull dinner for Gooley's birthday! The photo of "Francis," incidentally, is a shapshot of Gooley taken in college.

#12: "The Little Dictator! The Curse of the Touchy Secret"

A genetically mutated mouse name Algernon is the newest form of security system developed by 3WA scientists. Possessed of increased intelligence and the ability to speak, this little fellow has unfortunately escaped and must be recaptured. Algernon and his love, Chitchi have made other plans. The two plan galactic conquest using the 3WA building as their base of operations. Aided by millions of their fellow rodents, they seem unstoppable and all Kei and Yuri can say is, "Aw, rats!" Fortunately, the scientists develop a chemical to reverse the development of the rodents' intelligence. It works on Chitchi. Algernon, crushed by his loss, commits suicide by jumping from the window of an upper floor.

#13: "What's This? Our Fair Sin is Getting Dolon Dolon" [slimey]

Last episode involved ridding the city of small problems; this episode involves things much bigger. Huge monsters resembling slugs have invaded the city sewer systems and are munching on various things, including sewer workers. The Pair are assigned to handle the problem, much to the delight of the Damocles Tower superintendent. This fellow has carried a strong grudge against the girls since they bent his building back in Episode 1. Now he would like nothing better than for Kei and Yuri to meet their premature end. After several unsuccessful solutions the Pair decide to put the creatures into deep freeze. Despite the appearance of the enormous Mother Slug, this is accomplished.

#14: "The Vault or the Election? The Convention Hides the Killer"

The mysterious Pandora Vault, located inside 3WA HQ, is the next hit planned for Phil, an expert vault breaker. A transvestite, Phil enters the vault by disguising himself as a female employee. The Pair are aware of his plans and arrive on the scene. Kei, trapping Phil inside the vault, is unfortunately locked inside with him. The two learn firsthand why the vault is called Pandora: as its computer-controlled defense system senses intruders, the air is pumped full of hallucinogens! Meanwhile, Yuri and Nanmo try to free Kei and Phil and simultaneously defuse a bomb that Phil has placed on Pandora's entrance. After this trial, Kei and Yuri take their revenge on the politician Gilda, who had hired Phil to break into the vault in an attempt to discredit 3WA.

#15: "Dig Here Nyan Nyan, The Reward Comes in the Very End"
(Nyan nyan is the Japanese sound effect for a cat.)

Kei and Yuri encounter an old man, Joe, an Indiana Jones-type adventurer with a taste for roses and garlic. He seeks a vast fortune hidden away in an ancient Temple of Doom. The Pair go along on the hunt. All kinds of traps await them within the place, as well as Miss Clementine, who wants to gain the treasure any way she can. The three find no treasure per se but Joe retrieves some old parchment which was worth a lot more than it appears to. He collects a cool 170 million credits which he chooses not to tell the Pair about. Naturally, this ticks them off. But he makes up for it in the end by sending them a truck filled waist-high with roses. Kei and Yuri are content.

#16: "Leave It to Us! The WWWA is a Wonderful Job"

Seventeen-year-old Sakurako is head of the Yorozya Conglomerate. Her position can be likened to that of a royal princess, since at this time corporations act something like monarchies. The childish Sakurako is targeted for assassination by a rival corporation. Enter Kei and Yuri as her bodyguards. This job proves less than easy. Sakurako decides she need no protection and runs off, leave a big "BYE BYE" note scrawled on her mirror. Kei must take on the role of Sakurako to keep the bad guys from realizing that Sakurako is 1) gone, and 2) unprotected. Yuri goes off in pursuit of the girl. Yuri and Sakurako encounter all kinds of villains; snipers, fighter planes, motorcycle hoodlums. Their survival is critical -- otherwise Kei will have to assume Sakurako's role for the rest of her life!

#17: "Come Out, Come Out, Assassin!"

One fearsome, stormy night somewhere in Elenore City a 3WA agent is murdered in an almost forgotten alleyway. When his body is later found by authorities there is no doubt that his executioner was the infamous superspy known as Sanderrick. It is believed that Sanderrick has booked a flight on the star liner Babel 107, but finding him may prove difficult as none of the handful of passengers are quite what they seem, Kei and Yuri notwithstanding. Kei poses as a nun on sabbatical, while Yuri goes undercover as a stewardess. Events move quickly. One of the passengers seals the ship's emergency shuttle; Kei and Yuri discover the flight crew murdered; and worst of all, the navigational computer has been rigged to send the ship plunging into a black hole. To further complicate matters, the stolen shuttle explodes only a few parsecs away.

#18: "Excuse Us, the Running Trouble, Violent Breakthroughs"

The Pair travel to the planet Slum (no kidding), where they're been hired to capture and transport a young confidence artist named B.J. under protective custody to Slum's police headquarters. While mysteriously being hunted by gangsters and police alike, Kei and Yuri discover that the head of the criminal organization is none other than the police commissioner himself! It's a no-holds-barred fight for survival as the Angels must capture they quarry and bring hims in one piece to HQ in time for the hearing!

#19: "Let Love Dispel the Returned Hatreds and the Hatred of Love"

As the story opens the Angels complete a successful sabotage run on a large munitions plant operated by Gillos, commander of a mercenary outfit. A swift chase culminates in a climactic aerial battle. Gillos' fighter is shot down and the girls' fighter engine shorts out during a high dive. Kei and Yuri escape death by employing their flight packs but in true Dirty Pair style, their plummeting fighter crashes into the dining room of a seaside manor. Tragically, one fatality results from this terrible event -- the girlfriend of the manor's young lord, a lovely, winsome, granite statue which wore a blonde wig and a blue dress. It seems that Lord Leamon is allergic to real women and becomes catatonic if even touched, in any way, by one. At any rate, 3WA soon thereafter sends the girls to apologize and to offer their services in exchange for the damage. Little does anyone know that Gillos has survived the crash. He stakes out the manor from a battle sub somewhere off shore and slowly moves in...

#20: "The Pursuit of Blues is the BGM [Background Music] of Murder"

In a dramatic change-of-pace episode, Kei and Yuri voyage to the volcanic planet Saradin to track down a killer known only as Blues. They soon meet with resistance in their efforts when they come to blows with a biker gang in a saloon. At first, it seems the Pair is vastly outnumbered... until a mysterious and valiant stranger comes to their aid, Blues. He reluctantly surrenders himself to the two (Kei handcuffing herself to him) but warns them that he will not leave the planet until he has carried out his mission: to avenge the death of his mother. Saradin, it seems, is the base of operations of the Colonel Sanders-esque Melpott, known as "The Ice Cream King," founder and chief executive officer of the galaxy's largest premium ice cream factory. Once a year his company sponsors a beauty pageant, "The Creamy Gal," to select its next spokesperson and poster girl. many years ago, Blues' mother Jan was a Creamy gal. While fending off Melpott's amorous advances she was "accidentally" hurled into a lake of molten lava. Blues intends the same fate for Melpott. he intends to heave him into the lava lake from the monorail he currently uses as a publicity tour for the pageant. On top of this, Blues informs the Pair that the indidious Melpott is planning a major insurance swindle, plotting to destroy a company-owned hotel by causing the eruption of a volcano.

#21: "You're Kidding! 463 People Disappear"

The first half of the only two-part show in the series begins with a mystery. A passenger star cruiser has landed on schedule at Elenore City Starport but the control center can't seem to hail the pilot or crew. An emergency team sent to investigate finds the cruiser completely empty of all passengers and flight crew; it was apparently landed by remote control. But how? By whom? And what happened to all the people? Eddy Ross, an accident inspector for the travel company that chartered the cruiser, calls in the Pair to aid his investigation. Their efforts are hampered by Eddy's ex-wife, Shannon, who is desperately conducting her own search -- one of the missing passengers happened to be the Ross' five-year-old daughter! Meanwhile, Yuri meets Arthur, the Ross' twelve-year-old son, and forms a warm, big-sisterly friendship with him. Kei displays a pronounced appetite for cute, innocent, young boys!

#22: "We Did It! 463 People Reappear"

At last episode's end it was learned that the cruiser passengers had been taken hostage, for ransom, by Crocker, a disgruntled ex-business partner of Eddy Ross. Still unknown is how the capture was accomplished and where the passengers are now being held. Aided by Arthur and Mughi the Pair and Shannon set out to find the missing. The first stop is the planet's orbiting space station, where Eddy Ross has gone to negotiate the ransom demands, a meeting which turns out to be nothing more than an ambush.

#23: "Uncertainty...? Our Magnificent Revenge"

In a near-catastrophic encounter at a maximum security condominium the Pair fail in their efforts to trap Mahogany, a balding, obese narcotics supplier and entrepreneur with heavy underworld connections, who has somehow maintained a clean slate with the authorities. Kei and Yuri accidentally become separated after a melee with Mahogany's private security force. Yuri is wounded in her right arm, bleed profusely, and quickly loses consciousness. She wakes in the care of a handsome blond stranger named Daniel, a man who has reasons of his own to oppose the infamous Mahogany. Yuri and Daniel reunite with Kei and set up a scam; Yuri poses as an Asian princess who must sell her estate and holdings for tax reasons, while Kei reveals herself to be a veritable master of disguise. She poses as a bartender, a newscaster and a stockbroker, all male, in order to convince Mahogany to invest his entire ill-gotten fortune in a fictitious asteroid gold mine. This almost works but at the last moment Daniel becomes greedy and double-crosses the girls, trying to make off with all of the money. He doesn't succeed but even so, Daniel takes it all in stride.

#24: "Are You Serious? The Apartment is a Dangerous Address"

It's another dark and stormy night as the Dirty Pair pose as new tenants in a luxury condominium in order to investigate the brutal murders of several female residents. Things soon get interesting as, one by one, a group of salesmen show up at the Lovely Angels' door, peddling their wares... and one of them is the killer.

#25: (Special Video) "What?! The Boy in the Mansion is a Terminator!"

Someone is out to ruin the Elenore City Bank (and secondarily, the economy) by flooding the money supply with counterfeit credit bills. The chief suspect is Jobs Garu, a retired master forger who now runs an inn on scenic Tamaru Island with his wife, Milenu. Gooley is reluctant to assign the Pair to this case but his right hand man, Calico, intercedes on the girls' behalf and persuades him they're the ones for the job. Gooley relents and tries to contact the two but it seems only Kei is available. Yuri is out on a particularly unsuccessful date. Gooley decided to provide Kei with a temporary partner -- Calico. It turns out that Calico in action is more trigger-happy and casually destructive than both Kei and Yuri combined and his reckless quickly gets him and Kei involved in a fire-fight with the island's automated security. They are soon captured and immobilized. Kei learns that the motivation behind Garu's actions is vengeance; Garu's son Max died in an accident while being hounded by the bank's overly zealous collection agents. Meanwhile, Yuri has ditched her beau and returned home where she receives a frantic call from Gooley. She sets out for the "odd couple." Once at the island Yuri has no trouble entering the inn undetected until she meets up with... Max Garu? A scuffle and a few rounds of ammunition prove that her assailant is not a member of the undead, but rather an android. After much mayhem the Pair determine that the actions of Jobs and Milenu Garu against the Elenore City Bank were justified and that the Garus meant no harm to anyone else. They persuade (read: blackmail) Calico to allow the elderly couple to escape.

#26: (Special Video) "Seriously? The God Cannon is a Beauty's Keyword to Escape"

A 3WA weapons research facility has been constructed within what is considered a dormant volcano. While on a routine inspection tour of the new mountain institute, Gooley brutally discovers firsthand that the facility has been seized by the insanely ambitious security chief Captain Marcus. Gooley is immediately taken prisoner and held for ransom. The terms: one hundred=billion credits in 24 hours or Marcus will kill Gooley and wreak untold destruction upon Elenore City with the institute's most terrible weapon, the God Cannon. Kei and Yuri learn of this and are ready to dash to the rescue but shockingly, they find themselves forbidden to take any action whatsoever! They protest and threaten action anyway, upon which they are stripped of their agent status and their ship and weapons are confiscated. With great determination and skill (and a certain amount of immodesty on Kei's the institute, find Gooley and vanquish the mad Captain Marcus! Well, not quite. It seems that in his last moments of consciousness Marcus sealed off all available exits and initiated the self-destruction of the institute's reactors, which by itself wouldn't have caused that much damage, but... there's this volcano, and...